best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
