dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
