guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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