We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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