ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
