Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
