He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Let's paint friendship bongs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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