I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Randomize
