I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize