Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
