i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
