Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
