Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize