I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
