Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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