OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize