seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
