I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
