so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
