I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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