So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
