Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
