she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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