i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize