sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
