i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
