Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
