i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize