we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
