Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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