Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize