After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
