just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
