No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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