I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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