What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
