im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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