It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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