I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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