I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
