Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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