pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
