Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
