I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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