We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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