garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think I sprained my soul last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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