I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
