Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
