i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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