omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
