I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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