Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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