he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
