I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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