better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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