You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
