That's intense
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
