ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
