I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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