Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
