whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
