a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
