Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
