I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
