He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I party with great urgency now.
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