I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
