Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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