Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
