I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dear god my vagina.
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