what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
