Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
