I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
