Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
did i walk over a car last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize