The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
