Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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