Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
