..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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