remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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