She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i will never coherently bang her
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize