I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
