Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
