i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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