that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We left an ass print on the piano.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
